The following articles were authored by tricia

Episode 10: There Are No Goals

This episode of the podcast was recorded six months ago. Since then, Tricia’s moved across the country, Jessica’s adopted a new cat, and we’ve both gotten new jobs, but rest assured that our emotional maturity hasn’t advanced at all, so despite the dated references, it’s as if it were recorded yesterday!


We didn’t even pretend that we tried to accomplish goals this time, but we did talk about why we love TLC original programming so much & which Sister Wife we would trade lives with. Recorded on location in a Target parking lot.


Jessica's cat/bedding update

Jessica’s cat/bedding update



Special Report: Grocery Store Anxiety (ft. Ren Faire Anxiety & Craft Fair Anxiety)

If you love Why Would You Do That but find yourself thinking, “you know, Jessica and Tricia don’t spend enough time complaining and validating each other’s inability to adjust to the world they live in”  YOU’RE IN LUCK!  A couple short months ago, we decided to record an episode devoted entirely to our grocery store anxiety and, naturally, turned it into a situational anxiety free for all so we still have a lot of work to do in terms of getting GSD (Grocery Store Anxiety) to be recognized as an Actual Thing. A grant would really help us with that, gentle listeners. Additionally, if you happen to have been wondering what our opinion of The Office was but were afraid to ask us, you’re in luck there, too!


Anyway, here’s a mockup of the reusable and also disposable shopping bag that we talked about selling to correspond to the release of this Very Special Report, but even we’re not stupid enough to make merch for an unpopular podcast.  SCAN0020

This is art. In case you were wondering.

Episode 8: Find a Creative Specialty, Apply to a Job, Improve your Smile

We are thrilled to be joined in studio this week by our intern and spiritual leader, Glormfloulk!





Glormfloulk’s favorite class at Paramedic School is Intermediate Cartooning


Episode Seven: Take Advice, Do Something You Should Have a Long Time Ago, Plan a Day

In the seventh episode, we teach you the secret to be a good listener, Jessica recounts her glory days as a child athlete, and Tricia gives you a taste of her soon-to-be-bestselling book, The Post Apocalyptic Diet.

Additionally, we are are pleased to be accompanied  this time around by ghost bongos. Please do not question the ghost bongos you hear in the background. They definitely have nothing to do with us poorly executing a new recording strategy.


A couple intern applications, because we believe in transparency:




How to have fun at a music festival:


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Episode Six: Educate Yourself on an Important Subject, Express Yourself in a New Medium, Do Something You Used to Enjoy

Hey, so you can finally subscribe to our podcast!!! Whoaaa! Click here for iTunes, and hopefully it will be available on other platforms soon!!!

Or, like, if you’re a crazy tech wizard and you have other ideas for what to do with our podcast feed, have at it?  We want absolutely no ownership of our intellectual property and don’t care how it is used. Please, take it off our hands. Here’s the feed URL:

The fact that Jessica's cat resembles Winston Churchill is not covered in this episode, and we;re sorry about that.

The fact that Jessica’s cat resembles Winston Churchill is not covered in this episode, and we’re sorry about that.

In the sixth episode of Why Would You Do That?, we get you up to speed on the news from two months ago, Jessica fights for progress in her community via her gyms’ Facebook pages, and Tricia hints that you should tell her that she’s beautiful in spite of her adult acne next time you see her. Or just Tweet it at her.   Actually, wait, that sounds awful.  Just act like she doesn’t have a face. She’d like that a lot.


Episode Five: Teach Your Pet a New Trick, Organize Your Space, Influence Someone

I see no real purpose to acting like the fact that it now takes us about two months to put up a new episode should come as any surprise.


But just so you know, we totally meant to get one up like, a long time ago!


Here is a picture from when we tried to record this episode on Christmas Day:

It took us about five hours and we ultimately scrapped that entire recording session because there was no usable footage.  And then I went to LA to vacation in the void!!!!



The main purpose of me going to California was to feel utterly defeated by the passage of time, and MISSION ACCOMPLISHED! For visualization, refer to this Before & After of 2006 Jessica at the Elliott Smith mural and 2013 Jessica at the Elliott Smith mural.





In the fifth episode. Tricia brags about how her cat is super obsessed with her, Jessica shares a guaranteed-to-make-you-millions investment opportunity you should hop on right now, and we discuss the pros and cons of people actually listening to the things we say.

Episode Four: Craft a Craft, Add a Step to Your Skincare Regimen, Do Something Nice for Someone

In the fourth episode, we reveal to you that the thing that’s bad about getting murdered is not actually the fact that you got murdered, confirm what you already knew deep in your heart:  skincare routines (much like nutrition and public transit) are best left to guesswork, and prove (with the help of relatable real world examples like Netflix and more murder) the point that kindness is simply a matter of adjusting your level of cruelty.


I wasn’t sure what “relevant” photo to include, so here’s an Instagram of Jessica shoveling shit, which is about as relevant as anything gets.

P.S. I think my rap-rock timeline might be off by a few years, but I’m sure you’ll all forgive me for that because nothing in this world could matter less.

Why Would You Do That – The Playlist

If you love Why Would You Do That? but wish that after three episodes, we were doing more to expand our anti-lifestyle brand, you’re in luck!


Introducing the Why Would You Do That? playlist – featuring songs about depression, self-pity, discomfort in social situations, and occasional ambition and/or overblown confidence. You can listen/subscribe on Spotify here. I will probably continue to add to it since I prefer doing that over other things.

Though I am staunchly opposed to the idea of having a career, I think I’d be ok with it if my career were Personal Brand DJ. I could spend all day creating playlists for people to help them project a marketable version of themselves to the world. Well, maybe not marketable, exactly, but I can definitely help you create an identity through the music you listen to in lieu of a strong sense of self!

Anyway, since this is a music-y post,  here is a picture of me NOT PLAYING my ukulele.  I used to play ukulele (briefly in a twee folk band, and I can’t even tell you how sorry I am for that, world), but then I found out that Jessica is offended by anyone playing ukulele, so I don’t do it anymore.  I just hold my ukulele with a “hey, how did this get here?” face.


Episode Three: Make a Cost Effective Meal, Try a New Machine at the Gym, Reconnect With Someone From Your Past

So maybe it took us a while to put up this episode of the podcast, but c’mon, man…we were distracted by kittens!




In the third episode, we learn that Jessica lives in an (awesome!) alternate universe where Fresh Prince lasted the entire decade of the nineties (ushering us tenderly into the Willenium), Tricia realizes that everything in her life is like driving a new Maserati down a dead end street, and you know that third goal about interacting with people besides each other? They totally nailed that one!




Additional Trivia

Unexplained sound effect of the week: kinda sounds like there are squirrels brushing their teeth in the background?
Snack Tricia was eating while creating this episode that is like 90% about how sodium kills: giant plate of nachos.
Best Instagram filter to use on your scar: Lingering Woe


Look at this adorable scar! Don’t you wish your scars were this cute?

Episode Two: Make an Interesting Drink, Get on a Sleep Schedule, Ask a Stranger a Question

ROAAAAAAD TRIIIIIIIP!  In this episode, Jessica and Tricia share Pinterest-worthy alcohol DIYs, have mixed results when trying to get on a sleep schedule while couch surfing, and attempt to feel comfortable with compliments as misanthropes.